Mayday!!! Solitude. 

From my experiences, solitude can be scary. It's unimaginable the voices you hear when you spend time in silence. I'm not talking of another sequel of the "The Grudge" These voices aren't likeable because of how puzzling and truthful they might be. They can either amplify your flaws, increase your doubts, which makes your heart rate rise. 

On the other hand, fear combined with laziness cripples us from working hard to figure out these puzzles. Although it's in these quiet moments, you genuinely unravel your uniqueness.

I learnt how to unplug from society at an early age. Life presented me with moments where people didn't like associating with me. This was as a result of multiple reasons. 

Some people often say I didn't belong to my birth country, Nigeria, because I couldn't speak my local dialect, act locally, or think locally. Oh mehn, my name was another ice buster when I meet someone new, "Paul Newton, the Blackman with a White name," some say with a disgusted smirk. Indeed, I had to pay for the slave trade sins even though I never got a dime from such a business.  

I invite you to register for Define your Purpose Coaching Experience. 

A 4-week self-development Coaching Experience that makes you break grounds for personal discovery, define your purpose and create an unshakable legacy. 

Flashing back to these experiences makes me see how envious some people were and scared the others could've been. The only way they could be powerful was to make me think powerless. But why would someone take on this path of life? I thought we all want the same thing? 

Am I correct to say, "we want the same thing but intend to get it differently?."

I hear people talking about oppression lately. From my experience, it's more painful to be oppressed by your very own clan/creed. I remember vividly this particular guy in boarding school who wanted me to speak pidgin (vernacular) by all means that he used his belt on me not one time, not two times, multiple times, different days. To what end? Where is he now? I usually would ask myself. 

When a man is ignorant of his purpose, he takes this aggression on others by oppressing or inflicting pain. This expression is natural, in the words of Victor Frankil in Man's search for Meaning;

Boarding school life is similar to that of an inmate, the bloody backs, broken bones, merger meals, unfair treatment, betrayal, aggressive bullying etc. Sometimes, I felt I was in a mental institution disguised as an educational institution. But it's the same thing with the real world.

I am sure you are thinking, "now I know why my boss is such a b^#%^" or "why my ex was such an imbecile." 

 Hold it, hold it. Let's look at it from another lens. You only treat people based on the level of maturity, knowledge of self and wisdom you've attained.

These experiences made me unplug from society and call on solitude like a pilot nose-diving uncontrollably from a high altitude. While in solitude, I sat under my apple tree like Isaac Newton did when he found the law of gravity.

I searched for meaning, questioned my existence. The more I asked, the more I got answers. 

Reflect: What do you do when you are you going through uncontrollable storms in your life? 

A) Try to resolve the storm 

B) Stay calm and understand the source of the storm

C) Do nothing 

D) None of the above

(Drop your answer on the comment)

Anticipate the article on November 4th: What to do when you don't know what to do. (Bookmark your calendar)

I Bless God for those boarding school experiences because it showed me the true nature of man and how powerful I am.

The choice of power is what true freedom is. Your ability to make a choice, either good or bad, is what makes you an independent being. Sadly, we often choose to abuse our choices by trading it with immediate gratification and societal acceptance.

We feel being different is a curse unknown; it's a real blessing. Not until you separate yourself from societal influences and the world's expectations, you'd never understand your purpose. Your purpose isn't out there. It's within you, but you have to block the noise around you to sense it.  

I choose to live the life others didn't expect of me. I dare to be different, but to remain distinct, I have to call on solitude.

Weekly Challenge: 

I dare you to take one day this week to practice solitude. Get a journal, focus on these questions, "What do I want to do with my life? What's stopping me?". Write all that comes. Contact me if you are comfortable to talk about your answers. 

Takeout from this episode; 

• How you react when you are going through difficulty is a clear reflection of who you are. In that difficult moment, you can resolve to upgrade your personality if you choose to.

• Forgive people easily because they are acting to the degree to which they know. You know better, so do better. 

• Solitude detox your soul and opens you up to the greatness inside of you. 

I invite you to register for Define your Purpose Coaching Experience. A 4-week self-development Coaching Experience that makes you break grounds for personal discovery, define your purpose and create an unshakable legacy. 

Next on the "True Memoir of Major Pane" Why I got into Life Coaching.  Hopefully, through this series, you learn practices and grab some free tools I will be sharing. 

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