You are listening to the Major Pane Podcast. The only podcast crafted to guide men like you on unravelling your uniqueness to transform the world around you. 

If you are a lady joining us, feel comfortable to listen as we hope women learn how to build better men through the golden nuggets, we will be sharing and learning. 

In last week's episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Paul Martin, a father of 6. It was an explosive interview where he shared how he developed the mental toughness to build a successful family and his go-to principles in staying strong. If you missed that episode, kindly go back and check it out. Mental Toughness with Paul Martins

Here are my key takeaways and how we can incorporate them into our daily lives. 

1. Surround yourself with overcomers.

This point was one thing that stood out from Paul's list on building mental toughness. 

Many people don't like the idea of having a mentor or a coach or a successful friend. They somewhat think it's a setback or something that will destroy their freedom. 

The pros of having a mentor or a coach outways the cons. 

Mentors will give you the blueprint to success, while a coach will work with you in creating the blueprint to success. 

Alot of people say they need a coach, but when I do my investigation, they aren't coachable. 

Undoubtedly, having an overcomer around you can be pretty intimidating but remember, in my 3rd episode, Mindset: The Tug of War, I mentioned celebrating other's people successes. 

This limits the tension. It increases your desire to learn from others.

I believe mental toughness starts from being humble to learning from others, desiring the truth about life and not lying to yourself. 

2. Everyone has a beginning. 

Sometimes we get so caught up in people who are so successful and overcomers; we forget about the whole journey they took to get there. 

This stood out for me. 

I remember when I started my life coaching business. It was so so intimidating. I had different people messaging that they could help me with lead generation. 

Some were proposing to coach me, but of course for thousand dollars. 

I realized some have been in the industry for years while some were starting and looking for the next big cash cow, "me." 

I didn't know how the coaching industry worked, I had to learn the ropes, and no one was interested in helping me for free except my mentor. 

With intense research and a brave heart, I understood that I shouldn't for any reason compare myself with anyone. 

I need to build my network from scratch. I need to be patient; I need to focus on impact, not income; I need to make connections, help others, and design myself to be influential while learning all through the process. 

Fast forward to today, it's alot more different and better. No one understands the hurt and pain it takes to make these things happen until it happens; everyone goes like, wowww!!!. 

I am not doing it for the wow; I am doing it because I need to impact lives. That's what keeps me waking up every day to create content and stay excited throughout the process. 

3. Training yourself to go through the fire

As Paul puts it, the mind is powerful; it drives everything you do. As you fight the battles, you develop armour. Remember, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

One thing we fail to understand is that "You can't run away from battles." The old warrior mantra says, "Sweat more in training, bleed less in war."

If I ask you, how are you preparing yourself for the battles in life, what will you say?

Firstly, do you think life is a battleground or are these statements are fictitious babbles we enjoy babbling about?

Don't run from the battles you need to fight today to librate yourself tomorrow. 

4. People carry us based on how we see ourselves

We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us. Paul mentioned seeing himself as a Child of God rather than a black man. 

Since he is a child of God, his mindset is that he can get anything regardless. You step out more, and the more you step out, the better you feel. 

As men, we need to get our mindset right. We sabotage ourselves by looking down on ourselves, which eventually makes others look down on us. 

 If you see yourself as an asset, you will protect yourself as such. 

Others will take care of you in that regard. 

5. Partnership. 

Paul said they see their kids as people who will be influencers and ambassadors to cause positive change in society. 

This changes the dynamics of how we train our kids and how we see our spouses. 

Do you see your spouse as a rival or as a partner?

Do you see your kids as a stress or as the best?

Are you willing to put in the best to ensure your family flourishes?

A family is made up of two partners who will do everything in the world to show up for themselves and their children. 

Partnerships revolve around understanding who needs to step back from, say a 9-5 job for the family to move forward, who needs to get work from home, and who needs to go to the office. 

A strong mind is essential in having these conversations, giving up some dreams to watch the family prosper and sometimes working extra to chase some goals to make the family thrive. 

6. The world is always open to receiving your children

Paul mentioned making out time intentionally to take the kids on dates, being present for them, actively listening to them and much more. 

It goes a long way to making them feel loved, appreciated and heard. 

We want our children to succeed in areas that we failed. 

We dont want them to repeat the sins of the fathers. 

We want them to correct the narrative and repair the genealogy. 

We want them to be more intelligent, wiser, thats, why we have to equip them with all the best emotional and mental armour and this, comes from giving them that attention. 

If we don't, the world is ready and willing to adopt them. As Paul said, the world has no problem being mean and truthful to them. 

We don't want that to happen. 

Wrap up

The more we understand the roles played in our family, work, community, etc., the more responsive we become toward building our mental toughness. 

Let the bigger picture of your life direct you to the skills you need to hone, the attitude you need to develop, and the mindset you need to install.