Could This Be The Reason Why People Don’t Help You?
In despair, but not lost. I try to remind myself, trials may come yet hope lies at dawn- whoislimos
Regardless of whoever you are or whatever you are, you need help. You want it now like never before. The more you ask for help, the more it seems to run away from you.
Sometimes, you question yourself, doubt yourself and even feel like giving up because you aren’t seeing any need to ask for help in the future.
I feel like asking for help can position you to be humble, which doesn't come easily. Yet after laying away pride, you still don’t get what you are requesting.
Could it be because of the following reasons;
1. You haven't figured out what you are offering to your helper
Humans are transactional beings. Before currency emerges, people used to trade by barter for commerce.
There is an invincible social transaction taking place that’s why you often hear people say, "What do you have to offer?"
Anyone who goes out seeking anyone to help wants something in return. As a coach who helps people live a purpose-driven life, what I want in return is action, commitment, dedication and a completed goal.
No one likes to feel like their time wasted even though you are paying for their services.
You will have to get your game face on, do your prep and ensure you are in the right frame of mind to be helped.
2. You don't know what you want
So you need help, but for what actually? How will you get the desired outcome?
What is the desired outcome? is it very clear, or is it still in the making.
Asking for help without knowing what you want is like requesting a Press Conference and not knowing what to say.
Imagine the waste of time for the news anchors, the viewers and yourself.
3. You haven't started something that will make people support you
Help "support" is more effective when there is an actual frame/foundation. You will need to meet people halfway with your frame, ideas, thoughts for them to build on.
No one builds a house without foundation.
How well have you worked on your idea in the background?
How consistent have you been working on your idea?
People are convinced when they see potentials and even results.
Now this link to the first point, "what you are offering."
4. You aren’t grateful
A heart of gratitude amplifies your attitude. People love grateful people.
I have helped people who made me feel like, "Nah, not going to do so next time." Not because I don’t want to but because helping them drains me empty.
People want to help you and feel refilled because when you sow an act, you reap.
An ungrateful person is like a thong that kills seeds sown into them.
5. You are not open to helping your helper
Oh yea, when was the last time you checked in on your helper to be sure they are doing fine? Sometimes, it's only when you need someone you remember sending them a text following your request.
That’s selfish and one-sided. No one likes to be treated as an emergency vault when you aren't depositing enough healthy emotions inside them.
Help your helper, and help will come to you.
How do you act when people don’t support you;
Photo by Jarl Schmidt.
“Your smile shines brighter in the dark” -Major Pane.
Stay optimistic
Reframe/reflect
Chart a new course if need be
Continue working on your mindset
Wrap up
There are many other reasons why people don’t want to help you; it could be that the person isn't just the right person or they don’t have the capacity to do so or they need help as well among other reasons.
One thing you should remember is that no one owes you anything.
Stop feeling entitled for what you haven't worked for and start working on creating attractive platforms and ideas that will attract helpers from the four corners of the earth.
Check out this Instagram post to learn one or two about why you need to act now.
