Newcomer Mentorship: The Guide for New Immigrant men
Table of Content
According to Statista, between July 1, 2020, and June 30, 2021, there were an estimated 107,865 new immigrants to Ontario, making it the most popular immigration destination of any province.
The Government of Canada has an immigration plan to grow the economy. A published news article on the IRCC website stated that last year Canada welcomed over 405,000 newcomers - the most we've ever welcomed in a single year. The Government is continuing that ambition by setting targets in the new levels plan of 465,000 permanent residents in 2023, 485,000 in 2024 and 500,000 in 2025
As you read this, you might have contributed to this number by relocating to Canada, or you plan to be part of the number shortly.
For those of you here, you will notice a massive difference between what you've heard about Canada and what you see. You aren't alone in this exclusive vision.
I was also in your shoes when I relocated to Canada in 2018. I had no Canadian experience; life was uncertain, and it wasn't easy to make new friends, among other complexities we'd be exploring.
Starting life again is hard. It's more problematic when you are restarting without the correct information. Accompanied by culture shock, missing your friends and loved ones, you might question your choice and fear the unknown future. Some of these challenges are systematic, while some are self-induced.
The Challenges New Immigrant Men Face in Canada
1. Finances
Financial literacy is a significant setback among newcomers to Canada. Although some new immigrants might be wealthy in their home country, this wealth might influence their resettlement i.e. making it easy.
Multiple financial expenses are waiting for you as a new immigrant, depending on how you come into Canada.
First, if you come in as a permanent resident, the truth is that 50% of your issues are solved. You might not need to get a lawyer for your immigration case like someone who came in as a refugee.
Legal expenses will likely swallow you if you are a refugee. There is an opportunity for legal aid, but I'm unsure how accessible that is. Some lawyers can charge up to 5k and above, depending on the intensity of your case.
Some men who left their wives and kids back home struggle to get satisfactory jobs to settle themselves, pay bills and send to their families back home.
Some men might not want to work specific jobs because they feel they might degrade themselves. The sudden financial shift can cause different personal and interpersonal issues that might impact their confidence, attitude, life, relationship, and future.
Unfortunately, when newcomers relocate to Canada, most get carried away with the lavish lifestyle, credit card expenses and disguised financial freedom.
Doubtless, many people have gotten trapped into believing they are living the good life when running in a hamster wheel of hustle, buy, pay, repeat.
Depending on where you reside in Canada, some provinces might have better-paying jobs and lower taxes, so the standard of living varies, giving some new immigrants better options to resettle faster than others.
Comparing lifestyles across provinces is quite common, mainly because most immigrants relocate to Canada to witness the good life. The good life is sacrificial regardless of the province in which you reside, and you need an authentic strategy to make your dreams a reality.
In your home country, you might have support from family members, friends and strangers. Unlike your home country, Canada is highly independent place. Therefore, you have to plan your financial future with extreme wisdom.
That wisdom is scarce. This explains why you see immigrants who have been in Canada for 20 years and are still living like newcomers. While some men are excited to depend on the Canadian Government for daily bread, others have outgrown that paradigm.
What could be the problem with this?
Finance and Culture
There is a cultural component to finance. How you spend your money, save, and plan can be linked to your culture and upbringing.
Some cultures believe the man must be the breadwinner. Therefore the man has to go out and work his brains out even though his wife is more qualified than him.
Some cultures feel the woman has to pay her husband at the end of the month the moment she gets paid her salary.
Although women in third-world countries are increasingly becoming independent, they might look up to men for support culturally. There has been a financial shift, and women are beginning to outperform men financially globally.
Many men need help to grasp this understanding; otherwise, it will weaken their marriage or delay them from being in a serious relationship.
The good news is that newcomers see higher wages; as stated in The Star article, Median wages went up across all immigration categories and for both men and women from 2010 to 2019. The median annual salary for male immigrants was up 10.2 percent annually from $32,500 in 2010 to $62,300 in 2019.
As a new immigrant man, I recommend seeking an effective strategy to attain career advancement and a pay increase.
2. Career
Finding work as a newcomer in Canada can be challenging without an influential network. Knowing how to sell yourself, attracting opportunities, and getting referrals and recommendations can be tedious if you don't have the appropriate guidance.
The guidance could come in multiple forms. You might need someone to guide you on how to use the transport system or ask questions like
how to read the map
how to get a car
how to buy a home
how to network
how to do your insurance
how to file your tax
how to register your business
What legit side jobs can you do
do you need a business number to drive uber
What happens when your work permit expires
It's like a baby learning how to walk again, especially if you haven't lived abroad. No doubt there are agencies ready to help, but the help can only go as far as you are registered. Some help is beyond their funding and would need a personal touch.
I remember when I was about to get my car. My head almost exploded because there were specific people I was expecting to show me how but they shared little to no info. All they said was, "Go do your research."
I was like, "wouldn't I need a guide to follow to start a search." Thanks to people like my best man Tayo. The person who referred me to where I got my car was my perfume dealer. He is right at Kenney and Lawrence, "The perfume spot".
If you stop by that area, tell him you want to use the coupon code "Paul" lol.
I needed to get a car for the job I had. I also needed to have a G2 license for me to get a car. By law, a G1 holder would need to wait for 1year before upgrading to a G2, but if you have an existing driver's license in the states or an international driver's license, you can upgrade by taking the test.
I had none of them, so I needed to send over my existing Nigerian Drivers license to the Nigerian Consulate in Ottawa to get a letter stating I have x number of driving experience.
I almost lost the job; thankfully, the supervisor wanted me to work with her, so she was patient enough and guided me on certain things. This lady is my mentor and part of why I have achieved this much within 4 years of my stay in Canada.
If you are a new immigrant professional living in Canada for less than five years and still struggling to get into your desired career, book a free consultation call with me; let's plan your personalized career goals.
The moment you arrive in Canada, the clock starts ticking. This part of the world moves very fast, and every move you make counts. If you are moving in the right direction, i.e. undergoing the right certification programs and courses, applying for the right jobs and positions and making the right network, you'd be glad.
In contrast, some new immigrant men have chased different career plans due to bad advice or vague aspirations that need to be more realistic. Some people have yet to learn what it takes to attain their desired career.
Due to pride and lack of clarity, they settle, and year after year, they dwell on the temporary victory of their relocation and use it to decorate themselves.
There is more to life than relocating to Canada.
I.Work permit
Canada's employment laws are stringent and adhered to by many employers. There is a slim chance of getting a legit job without a valid work permit. This explains why specific workplaces, most factories take advantage of new immigrants who don't have paper.
They pay peanuts, harass their workers, and you cannot report to labour unions because you are also breaking the law.
You can be quickly profiled with your SIN number, especially if it starts with a series "9." This means you are a temporary resident i.e visiting, studying, working or a refugee.
By law, when a work permit expires, you need to renew it before it expires. The processing time varies. Online work permit applications inside Canada take 168 days, while a paper-based application submitted via mail takes about 84 days.
While your application is processing, your employer might become reckless and impatient as they are unsure what the outcome might be. To save themselves, they might let you go.
This adds pressure to your finances, bills and living, placing you in a limbo state.
There is news I came across about people just sitting in limbo waiting for a renewed work permit but cannot get a new job because they need an updated work permit to apply.
This can affect a man's mental health, performance, and livelihood. Imagine if he is the only one working in the house or if his family is back home and he needs to provide for them?
You don't want to mess with a man who is hungry and, most times, a man who has no income source.
This can even make him less attractive as he wouldn't carry himself with great confidence.
"Canada will humble you."
I always make jokes about this statement.
There are experiences every new immigrant man is yet to witness that will humble them. It might be good, bad, or horrible, but in the end, it's up to you to use that experience to advance your life.
II.Workplace culture
I have heard of horrible experiences regarding new immigrant men who got fired for sexual harassment due to slurs or words spoken to their female colleagues.
In your home country, the case might be different. You can grab a couple of drinks with your colleagues and play dirty games.
Many men don't understand the Candian workplace memo "your colleague isn't your friend; they aren't people you can have sexual encounters with." Some workplaces have that embedded in their policy, especially if you are in a managerial or supervisory position.
Your colleagues are just professionals like yourself who need that paycheck like yesterday. It would be best if you didn't make your life more complicated.
A new immigrant man might struggle with acting professionally; he must remind himself that growth is inevitable on this path he has chosen to follow, i.e. coming to Canada.
3. Communication
Our communication styles are different globally. If you are from a communal culture, your verbal and non-verbal communication might involve physical (touching), getting extremely close to the person you are speaking to, expecting continuous feedback and excessive communication.
While this communication style is unique, many new immigrant men witness a pushback or miss out on connecting due to a communication style that is overwhelming to the Canadian culture.
The Canadian culture is polite at face value. From another perspective of socialization, the Canadian culture is reserved and independent, which begs the question of how trust gets established, friendships built, relationships made, and business transacted.
One aspect of culture that is a significant driver of change is how we communicate. Some cultures might view looking at someone in the eyes as rude, while in Canada, it is a crucial communication tactic.
Active listening skills aren't something I got to learn while growing up in Africa. We listen to speak instead of listening to understand.
As a new immigrant man, you'd have to learn the basics of communication, especially active communication.
What is active communication?
Brandon Voss from the Black Swan group defines active communication as a technique that enables you to verbally and nonverbally communicate in a way that makes you agreeable and easy to understand.
Active communication birth active listening. Employers pay attention to these skills as it is crucial in the workplace.
Another important category of people who pay attention to this skill is women.
If you cannot;
Pay attention to what is said and observe their body language
Show that you are listening by using body language like nodding, smiling etc.
Give the speaker feedback.
You are likely to be ignored and cannot strike attraction.
Does this make you reflect on why your employers haven't been calling you back or why you haven't gotten a date?
4. Relationship
This is an essential area in many new immigrant men's struggles. They possess little to no idea about international women's psychography, i.e their lifestyle, everyday activities, interests, personality, values, attitudes, beliefs, opinions, social status and much more.
I'd be creating multiple contents for you in this area because I know how essential it is to you. To add, I am married to an international woman, so I'd be bringing alot to the table for you.
In a published analysis of the Demographics of Canada by Statistics Times, the Sex Ratio in Canada in 2021 is 98.58 males per 100 females. There are 18.90 million males and 19.17 million females in Canada. The percentage of the female population is 50.36% compared to 49.64% male population. Canada has 0.4 million more females than males.
I.There is a rise of single men in Canada.
In 2022, there were more single males living in Canada than women. That year, there were 9.67 million single males in Canada and 8.6 million single females. These figures have been increasing steadily since 2000 - Source: Statista
As Canadian women are becoming more career focused than family-focused, this will increase the level of singlehood in the future.
Statista published the number of people immigrating to Canada from 2000 to 2022 by gender. About 242,884 Females and 250,100 Males migrated to Canada within those years. These statistics can be backed up by the Gender-based analysis published by the Government of Canada. In 2020, approximately 44% (17,479/39,740) of those applying for Permanent Residence Admissions identified as female, and 56% (22,260/39,740) identified as male.
What does this mean for men? Men will need help to get a partner because the migrants will be adding to the poll of single men. Mind you, at the moment; there are more females than men but more single men.
Depending on your province, getting into a relationship might be easier. I have heard that Toronto and Vancouver are difficult places to find love. I witnessed the hardship in Toronto. Bro, the streets are rough.
Montreal and Quebec cities are brilliant places to find love, especially if you can speak french. There is something different about those places that Toronto doesnt have. They are more European in thinking and living, unlike Toronto, which is busy and highly liberal (let me know your thoughts on this)
II. Societal Castration
As an immigrant man, you might have heard about the feminist movement, which branched into healthy and toxic feminism. While it has helped in many ways, it has also castrated the social life of men in Canada, wherein men don't have the confidence you'd expect them to have.
Many men are scared of getting into trouble as they get heavily punished for little to no mistakes.
They fear being reported to the authorities or accused of sexual harassment, which has destroyed many men's lives. Such allegations can strip a man of his job and future opportunities and lead to other unforeseen circumstances, especially if he is seeking protection as a refugee or implied status.
Now you have a little background understanding of what has been happening; you can see why relationships can be very tricky in Canada and why men instead focus on their careers, play video games, and hang out with their buddies.
What if we look at this same topic of social castration from another angle? is it women who are the problem, or did men permit some of these issues to persist?
Canadian women are more involved and active in the community. I see women more involved and engaged. Contrarily, men are less engaged in community activities. I am not counting your beer hangout with the boys or marching for your social cause.
I'm talking about joining social clubs, organizing events, advocating, building the next generation, and being intentional in causing change wherever they find themselves.
The more I look at the decline of masculinity in Canada, the more I understand why society is upside down.
Men are less involved in life-changing events. Men are leaving leadership to women.
We can say many people in the seat of authority are men, but that is a small fraction of men. Most are playing video games in their mum's basement, selfishly working for their paycheque and not directly causing changes. The others are just floating around looking for the next one-night stand.
Very few get driven by passion. Very few get driven by purpose.
Little to none is creating a legacy.
III. The red pill you want to take with a grain of salt.
Just as the feminist movement has created toxic versions of themselves, the red pill community has done the same. The red pill came as a saving grace to many men who needed saving, especially in activating their masculine traits, which led to confidence that sparked unbeatable attraction.
Although, as the world transcends into its inevitable state of decay, some folks intentionally make more money from men's sorrow, loneliness and desperation.
They might sell false narratives and convincing lies, which many men find comforting enough to lead their lives with, creating intense depression and singlehood among men.
You want to be careful and take some advice with a grain of salt.
5. Family
If you relocate to Canada with your family, your challenges might surpass your imagination. While focusing on your mental health, you have your wife and the kids (if you have one) to look after. While this might be difficult, it can also be adventurous and rewarding when things get done right.
Family plays a huge component in Canada, especially with how lonely and independent everyone is. It presents an avenue to bond with your family and be involved in their welfare.
Surprisingly, many newcomer families can witness significant issues staying together, mainly when social integration occurs. Some family members easily get influenced, creating a gap in cultural values, approaches to life issues and problem-solving.
Canada can change your household if you aren't strong enough
An article from CBC stated the following;
Continuing an established trend, Statistics Canada said the number of Canadians living alone reached a record high of 4.4 million in 2021, up from 1.7 million in 1981.
In 1941 just 6% of Canadians lived alone. By 2016, single-person households had become the dominant household type, making up 28% of the total. The number of single-person households rose again in 2021 to 29%
Couples with children account for 25.3% of households, while couples without children make up 25.6% of households. Single-parent families account for 8.7% of households.
Many reasons are contributing to the rise of loneliness in Canada. Some reasons we looked into earlier. On the other hand, new immigrants can make themselves homeless, helpless or even destroy their families.
Gender-Based Violence
This is a common issue in the immigrant community. Judging that most immigrants are from countries with patriarch cultural values, Canada protects women's rights above anything else.
There are specific things that might fly in your home country based on culture, but it might raise the alarm when practiced over here. When women relocate, they arm themselves up with the laws of the land, especially those who have been abused, molested, mistreated by their partner or husbands or traumatized by such.
Not to mention, women have more resources and support compared to men.
Gender-based violence is beyond physical; there are other types of abuse, such as;
Sexual
Psychological
Financial
Emotional
Socio-economic, and so on
6. Religion
I have seen many newcomers throw religion off the window the moment they come to Canada. Some folks suddenly lose faith in God and start onboarding secular practices and belief systems. They consider that as being progressive and infusing themselves into the Western culture.
If religion is part of your identity, getting rid of it might affect your identity. Religion has ties with morality and healthy values that will make you become a legend in your community and in your family - this is unpopular advice in Canada.
There is room to upgrade your religious sense by having access to resources, books, materials, and courses at your fingertips.
As a Christain, I have grown spiritually, significantly improving my life. I cannot count the number of courses I have taken, both religious and educational courses, to improve my psychological and philosophical being.
How New Immigrant Men can Improve Their Mental Health
In this section, I aim to equip you with as many philosophies and essential practices as I believe will give you healthy mental health as a newcomer to Canada.
The topic of mental health is rarely talked about in the newcomer community. It is bizarre for people to admit that mental health exists.
Depending on where you are from, you might classify mental health issues as embarrassing or associate them with spiritual entities. While the latter is true in some cases, we must understand that everyone has a mental health bar.
Just like your physical health, there is a mental health segment for everyone.
Simple things like joy, happiness, excitement, frustration, homesickness, loneliness, resentment, etc. All these are emotions that can impact your mental health.
As a newcomer to Canada, you might think you are strong based on the living condition of the country you immigrated from. The longer you stay in Canada, the more you realize that you were a local champion in your previous country.
Not the acclaimed international champion, as some of the challenges you'd face are very foreign, and they can take different shapes and forms.
In the last episode, we realized that some simple items others might not see as challenges could be a scary experience for a new immigrant man.
Now without further ado, let's jump into how you can maintain your mental health.
1. Reflect on what brought you here;
Why are you here? Why did you choose Canada? Why not the United States of America or Vietnam?
We often need to remember why we relocated from our original country. Do you remember the hot sun that burnt your skin, the incompetence in the education system, and the irresponsible governments that make employment very hard?
Tribalism, religious instability, bad roads, wickedness, name it. Some of you might have relocated because your life was at risk, and you had no choice but to leave.
I recently reflected on what my life would be like if I were to go back to Nigeria. It will be completely different from what it was.
I'd be going with 4 years of Canadian experience that is irresistible to many multi-national companies, bags of professional certificates, professional etiquette, and a diverse perspective on life that will impact those around me.
Not to mention, I'd be going with a beautiful Canadian Filipino wife. I'd get 6 figure jobs as a manager or project supervisor in a Non-profit.
Reflecting on this made me realize how much I have achieved within 4years of my stay in Canada. This reflection has humbled me and given me the strength to approach new challenges with excitement.
I understand everyone is different, and achievement at some point is subjective. Still, it doesn't change the fact that we have significant milestones we desire to accomplish, and when you see someone attain those milestones, you realize it is attainable.
To some new immigrant men in Canada, their imagination might not match their reality, so they are stuck in regrets. This regret can go as far as making them less confident in themselves, leading to them making fatal mistakes in their choices and not networking as much as they should.
These men can go as far as seeing themselves as a victim when people don't treat them politely. These men forget that people will be humans anywhere they find themselves.
Humans aren't so nice to each other. How people treat you is more about who they are.
The bigger fish you have to fry is doing everything possible to maintain healthy mental health.
Perspective plays a huge role in this equation. You can see yourself as a victim or a warrior who needs to master the art of facing his fears and coming out victorious.
Another thing I learned when talking about perspective is understanding that many people in Canada are less exposed to other cultures. For real, they say diversity is our strength, but ignorance within the diversity is flourishing.
On the surface, someone might accept you and be respectful, but deep down, they don't care. They don't care about your struggles, pain, fears, etc.
This explains why connecting to people from deep within is very hard.
Well, thats why I am here, to connect with you.
This mental torture can also make an immigrant man aggressive, as he might see the need to fight back because he is sometimes pushed to the wall leading to hostile body language depending on the situation.
I see you. I feel you. Let's take a deep breath.
Here is what I need you to do.
Go make yourself your favourite drink. It could be tea, coffee, smoothie, martini, water or anything.
While coming back, bring yourself a notebook where you would journal your reflections.
When you return, take your most comfortable position and resume this video.
Welcome back. Let's reflect together.
I'd give you some prompts to aid your reflection. Kindly write anything that stands out for you. You can pause this video at any point to note down your thoughts.
Can you remember a typical day when you were in your previous country?
What were you most proud of about your day?
What was your commute like?
What were the things you dreaded the most? It could be how people treated you; it could be your surrounding, the living condition etc.
Why did you dislike those things?
How did you feel when the thought of relocating to Canada came into your mind?
What was it like going through the application process? What was your attitude like going through the process?
Since you've been in Canada, have you witnessed those things you outlined that you dreaded in your country? If yes, highlight them.
Are there things you are grateful for that this new environment has done for you? Something that you know you wouldn't get in your previous country?
Now ask yourself whether it was worth the relocation.
If your answer is no, do you think returning is the best thing for your mental health? Or maybe you are focusing on the gap and not the gain.
According to Dan Sullivan in his co-written book with Benjamin Hardy, there is a quote that reads;
"The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal." —Dan Sullivan"
If you focus on the new experiences you've gotten from your new environment and compare them with your old self, who wouldn't have known or understood those things, you'd realize how much achievement you've acquired.
But if you are focusing on the fact that you haven't achieved your idea i.e making money rain since you've arrived in Canada, you are focusing on the gap, which amplifies your mental health issues.
If you continue asking yourself these questions regularly and use them to reflect, you'd realize that you bring alot of value to this country. Your boss needs you; your community needs you; your family needs you, and there are alot of opportunities for you to plug yourself into and grow.
The question is, are you interested in growing the right way?
2. Cut off the drains
We sometimes have second chances in life as we get to live once. I see relocation as the second chance you deserve to do the things you've always wanted.
To live a new life, you'd need to do something new and different from what you are used to.
Earlier on, you reflected on the things that weren't working in your previous country and what you are most grateful about so far you've been here.
Have you attempted to give those positive kicks you feel deep down a chance?
I have never had a better life until I let go of some friendships. I noticed some folks were trying to rest their responsibilities on me as though I was their saviour.
I have seen friends who try to guilt trip me.
There are specific support systems you need to dismantle in other to set up a new support system. The reason is that the previous support system isn't in tune with the reality that you find yourself in; therefore, it would be tough to communicate specific issues, unlike the new support system that fully understands the situation you find yourself in.
I'm not saying you should destroy healthy friendships. You need to be very observant of what is serving you and draining you.
Review the thing that is draining your mental health. It could also drain you financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically, causing you to be mentally unhealthy.
3. Take your resettlement as a course
Ignorance makes you mentally unhealthy. I am sorry, there is specific knowledge that you have to seek for yourself. Your resettlement is equal to enrolling in a lifetime course on which you get tested and examined.
You have to unlearn certain things because they cannot be applied to your current environment.
You'd need to be active in learning about the history, the culture, the mentality, how people want to be approached, spoken to, treated etc.
One way I learned some off-scripted life-changing lessons is by befriending older folks. People who have lived here for a long time, and are excited to share their knowledge with me.
I use this opportunity to ask questions and get unique answers filled with wisdom.
Depending on the industry in that you are building your career, you should take certification courses, either paid or free.
If you don't have the money to take the course, you can create a plan to raise the capital to pay for the course.
These are some of the conversations we have in our newcomer mentorship program.
Using professional development to boost your mental health
In 2018 when I relocated to Canada, I remember the organization I worked with paying for a course Anti-racism/Anti-oppression at Toronto Hostel Training Centre.
Other courses were Critical Youth Work, Bridging Theory and Practices at York University;
Shortly after, I took a free online course at EDx on Community Development. This gave me the professional confidence to apply for a Project Coordinator opportunity.
I got the job. Later, the organization paid for me to take Community Development Intensive, an efficient course for community work.
Did you know that most workplaces have a budget for professional development? If you aren't aware, you should ask during your interview or ask your HR if you are currently employed.
Some organizations can offer to pay half the total amount while you cover the rest.
In general, there are helpful courses that will significantly help you in your resettlement. Courses in psychology, such as emotional intelligence and social psychology, will teach you how to achieve healthy mental health.
I stress psychology because it goes deeper than teaching you emotions but the history of these emotions, and it will equip you with the mindset to understand people better.
Another way to build yourself is to learn more about your situation. If you are single, learn more about singlehood in Canada.
If you are a refugee, learn as much as you can about immigration law if possible.
You can learn more about family law if you are going through a divorce. It will save you money and time. You will be empowered and equipped to ask the right questions alongside stay informed on the processes involved in your case.
Many lawyers would charge you a massive sum of money per hour, but if you stay informed, you will be stressed out, improving your mental health.
4. Plan your life:
Let's do a check-in. How are you feeling so far?
This is a lot, but we are making progress.
Question for you, what are the pillars of your life?
Pillars are structures that we build our lives on. Pillars could be family, career, finance, community, spirituality, education, relationship etc.
Whatever pillar you have, you need to plan how you intend to build each post so that they are constructed equally, strengthened, nurtured and maintained.
It's sad to see that many new immigrant men are living imbalanced lives, which is why their lifetime structures can come crashing down in a matter of months or a few years.
Take, for example. A man who focuses only on his career and doesn't build a community will likely have limited opportunities should he not network with others in the community.
A man who only focuses on his relationship will perform far less than others who create a balanced system in getting involved in the community, building his spirituality, acquiring professional certifications etc.
A planned life is that which works in phases. That is why you need a mentor like myself to work with you in creating those strategic goals and plans so that you can seamlessly build your pillars.
There are effective ways to plan your financial pillar to boost your mental health. I don't know if anyone told you, "Bills don't care about your feelings."
5. Build community:
It would help if you put yourself out there to be found.
Your mental health hinges on the people you are surrounded by. The more empowered they are, the more strength you draw from them when things aren't going well for you.
If you are married, you can always go right if you invest your time in ensuring your family members are stable, happy, and inspired to excel. If you are alone, then focus on the closest person around you.
The quality of friends you have and the professional network you make are excellent acquisitions for your resettlement.
Building a community can go as far as joining a gym club, sports club, church group, volunteering and other community-driven activities.
6. Seek mentorship:
I understand that where you are coming from, you might be a boss and a well-respected individual, but the moment you decide to call Canada your home, you lose that status until you reestablish yourself here, which takes time.
In those times, you'd get tested. You'd need the strategies, tools, resources and networks to solve problems.
That's where I come in. In the next episode, I will discuss why new immigrant men need a mentor.
You want to make sure you get it.
Why New Immigrant Men Need A Mentor
Many new immigrant men need help understanding the concept of mentorship. Some newcomers would instead learn certain things by themselves than ask questions.
Those who want to ask questions may not know who to ask or how to go about asking. It could be that they've asked but have yet to get the answers they seek.
They might have asked some organizations who attend to newcomers but those organizations have a limit to what they can offer. Another striking finding is that Non-profits have a higher population of females than males.
This hits differently. Trust me when I say these organizations do a great job and have great staff, but no one understands a man's problem better than a fellow man.
A newcomer man understands a fellow newcomer men's problem
Now, this is where my Newcomer mentorship program comes in for men who are days or up to 5 years in Canada to gain clarity, confidence and build community.
here is a quote I came across at quotlr.com it says, "A good mentor teaches you how to think, not what to think."
Okay, that hit me hard when I saw it. It pointed out the effectiveness of having a mentor.
If you've paid attention, I mentioned I had a selfless mentor. She equipped me with the tools and ideas I used to build myself into who I am today.
She bought books, recommended workshops and programs, and onboarded me into her certification programs. I cannot, to this day, pay her for the support and sacrifice she made for me.
Who is a mentor?
According to Guider, A mentor is a person who can support, advise and guide you. They typically take the time to get to know you and the challenges you're facing and then use their understanding and personal experience to help you improve.
Outside coaching, I worked with a non-profit as an Employment Specialist, Digital Media Programs. In that role, I onboard newcomers and Canadian citizens into my 8-week digital media programs.
Working in that role has opened my eyes to the core challenges newcomers face, the potential they possess, and the strength they bring. I went through similar challenges, if not worse.
I see this joy radiates through my client's faces each time they share their experiences, and they have someone who understands what they are talking about. They warm up and open up to me, even more when they realize I have their best interest at heart.
The last thing I ever want is for anyone to suffer due to the lack of information they deserve. I had many people who assisted me while resettling.
I am still learning, but there is alot I know that would benefit a newbie or someone trying to figure it out by himself.
Here are some things a mentor would do for you;
1. A mentor will expose your blind spots and give you clarity
When you are new in a country, you have alot of blindspots, alot of bias and a million things you need to figure out.
A mentor understands you bring great cultural values that can help you navigate the difficulties you might be facing.
Sometimes, you need someone to echo your strengths because it is easy to forget them when you are comparing yourself with your ideal. i.e. you are focusing on the gap.
A mentor can identify your weakness and areas for growth.
For example, I have spoken to alot of people who are really skilled in Digital media but are eager to get a job within the field.
One frustration they share with me is that they have been applying and have yet to get a job. I have one of my clients who told me he was given a specific task to do, and after submitting it, he has yet to hear back from them. This wasn’t the first time this was happening.
Another client shared a similar issue with me.
One thing we were able to come up with during our time was that he should add a watermark to the videos and graphic works he submits so that they cannot use it for any commercial campaign.
I encourage them to attend networking events; as you can see, you can only grow in Canada as much as you know and the people you know.
Other clarity elements involve:
Establishing a new value and belief system.
Defining a clear purpose for your life.
Setting upgraded goals and understanding your personality type to modify it.
2. You attain immense knowledge and build your confidence
I had to include the incremental knowledge component in my mentorship program. You got to be a learner if you want to grow exponentially.
Through regular meetings, you can get first-hand information regarding specific subjects and topics. I'd recommend particular books and courses to purchase to outperform your career and stand out within the community.
I had this client back when I opened up my coaching to women. She was struggling in her career and wanted to quit by all means. I had to share some book recommendations for her to stay relevant in her job and own her role before she leaves.
She shared with me that they were great resources that gave her the confidence to work while she had set smart goals she got to achieve.
Your confidence will only grow as much knowledge you build.
Did you know that employers are stalking you online to see how well you carry yourself and if you fit the organization's culture?
There is an article titled "Gen Z shocked to learn their digital footprint could ruin job prospect." This isn't just for Gen Z but everyone with a social media platform.
What is your digital footprint like? A mentor can help you polish and reframe those footprints into an attractive frame that positions you to be a thought leader in whatever career you are in. This is just the surface of what my new mentorship program covers.
We go deep into advanced communication techniques.
Time management techniques that can help you get more done within 6 months.
The part you love, how you can attain enlightened relationships in Canada.
3. A mentor gives you a sense of belonging
You can't do it by yourself; you need an ally. The journey is fierce, and your life is on the line if you make a drastic mistake.
Working with a mentor will assist you by providing the resources you need to overcome specific persistent challenges.
With a mentor, you have a sense of support and know you aren't alone. You can quickly seek good counsel, bounce off ideas and share your fears.
Mentors can share their experiences with you, areas they failed, and lessons they learned so you can be ahead of the game.
Loneliness is one major setback for new immigrant men. Seeing people willing to hear you out and brainstorm with you can be difficult.
With a mentorship relationship, you get access to this support as long as you are willing to continue to connect and share those wins you are witnessing.
I'm looking forward to building a community of empowered men excited to stay active and give back to the community. I'm currently networking with a couple of organizations and individuals that offer specific services so that referrals can be convenient.
My goal is to ensure newcomer men feel safe, secure and welcomed.
If all I have said so far sounds like something you are excited to explore, kindly book a free consultation call with me, and then we can take it up.
Are you a new immigrant man in Canada reading this?
Are there specific items you are interested in hearing me talk about?
Do you have specific struggles I can assist you in solving?
Reach out to me.
Wrap up;
Alot has been shared. you’ve seen the challenges newcomer men face in Canada, how newcomer men can improve their mental health and why newcomer men need a mentor.
This is a vast topic, and I might have missed many things you are curious to know about. I”d appreciate if you point out those things so we can gain clarity, confidence and create a legacy.
