Opinions Vs Counsel: The Dangers of Not Listening to People
According to Ryan Holiday, in today's Daily Stoic episode titled "Stop Caring, What people think." He said something that struck me, "don’t spend much time thinking about what other people think. Think about what you think. Think instead about the result. About the impact, whether it is the right thing to do."
On reading this, you might feel the need to throw every piece of advice, criticism or feedback given to you by friends, family, strangers etc. I get it, some opinions are void of facts and cannot yield results.
I noticed resentment when it gets to seeking counsel as people these days are so opinionated.
Society has made exaltation of self above the humbling nature of man, wherein we exhaust our energy wanting to be correct and proving to be right.
Let us draw wisdom from Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Source: Wise counsel
How did we get here?
The world's moral compass is in decline daily. There is an overdose of "do what makes you feel good, don't care about what others say etc".
No doubt, when used rightly, these statements are conducive and encouraging. However, when misused, they can lead to fatal mistakes, broken dreams, friendships, and relationships, just to mention a few.
Opinion vs Counsel
Opinions aren't based on facts, while counsel is based on fact.
Yes, someone can share their opinion while counselling another, but they point the person to a particular source.
As Christian, our source is the Bible.
Ever thought of the impact of your happiness on others?
Yes, ignoring their counsel might make you feel happy, but there is a ripple effect of regret, sadness, and brokenness in the long run.
Since we passively or actively influence society, missing the mark will create a negative effect on someone else.
The dangers of not listening to people
1. Broken dreams/friendships:
There was a time I had this friend who I was trying to support by bringing him into my Blog business back in 2014. I had people tell me that he isn't a serious person and would nose dive my business.
I was reluctant at first, but I noticed all they had said was correct after a while. At this time, I carrying alot on my plate because all the work I delegated to him was ignored.
He ignored these things because he was in love with a girl. We spoke to him and advised him to focus on business before taking things too seriously. He didn't listen.
He skipped college, and university, impregnated the girl out of wedlock, forcefully got married, and that was it.
The next time I saw him, I was in a better position as business was moving well, but he was really struggling. I hope he learned, and I hope he is doing well. (we don't keep in touch anymore)
2. Relationships:
This is the Bermuda triangle of life. Many ships set sail and never arrive at their destination. Thanks to the statement "love is blind."
As I am typing, I can recall how blinded I was to my ex, who wasn't treating me well. I kept defending her; unknown, I was digging my own grave.
If I hadn't listened to my mum, sisters, friends and mentors, I would be in the hospital, suffering from a stroke.
You should pay the price now than suffer the consequences later.
Breaking up was a hot price I paid for the freedom I witnessed today.
Freedom is not free. Freedom is expensive.
If you have an ounce of freedom right now, it's because someone paid for it.
Today, we have constitutional rights because of our forefathers, who paid the price.
We have electricity because someone paid the price.
We have smartphones and powerful gadgets because someone paid the price.
What price are you paying now for the future?
You need to know; you need to be sure. Very sure it is worth it.
Many people are paying the price for not listening to people, either family, friends, strangers etc.
Counsel Disciplines you
Proverbs 19:20-21
Listen to counsel and accept discipline,
That you may be wise the rest of your days.
Many plans are in a man's heart,
But the counsel of the Lord will stand.
Source: Wise counsel
Unfortunately, many people would rather mourn in the future than suffer in humility.
Imagine if the guy I mentioned earlier had listened to me? His life right now would be turned around for good.
Imagine if I didn't listen to those who counselled me when I was dating my ex. I wouldn’t be writing this article.
How do you know who to go to for counsel?
Don't go to just anyone you think is knowledgeable about something. They may share their opinions which may confuse you.
Before you go to someone for counsel, look at their life to see if they have fruits to showcase the significance of their source.
Focus on the Result
The result is the end game of good counsel. Ask yourself;
Is what they are telling me going to make my life better?
Will it point me in the right direction in life?
Am I going to benefit from this?
Wrap up
I hope this helps you in making the best decisions in life. Sometimes we forget that we have great personalities, coaches, mentors, family members, and friends out there is not for competition or intimidation but for counsel.
Quit being proud, humble yourself and reach out to someone for counsel.
Humble yourself and live through life.
Humble yourself and listen.
